Some practical advice on getting the sleep you need during an extraordinarily worrisome time and on helping your kids to do the same. This material was adapted from my most recent book, Happy Parents, Happy Kids.
It’s an inconvenient truth: our bodies need sleep. No matter how desperately we try, we can’t wish that fact away. It’s particularly important to stay on top of sleep when we’re carrying a heavy stress burden, as all of us are right now. Bottom line? Missing out on sleep will only make an already tough situation even tougher.
Here’s why:
When we’re sleep-deprived our emotions are more volatile. Not only do we have more difficulty managing our emotions when we’re sleep-deprived, but those emotions tend to skew negative. The parts of the brain that are associated with the processing of fear are 60 per cent more reactive, which means that we’re more likely to feel anxious or angry.
We feel like we’re running on empty. Less sleep means less energy and less staying power. That crushing feeling of fatigue makes life so much harder. Is it any wonder that so many of us try to compensate for our lack of sleep by boosting our energy in other less helpful ways, like ramping ourselves up with caffeine and diving into a sea of carbs?
We’re more distracted. When we’re sleep-deprived, it’s harder to focus. Not only does our motivation take a hit: we’re also less alert, which increases our risk of injury. That risk increases exponentially depending on how much sleep you’ve missed. You’re 4.3 times more likely to have a car accident if you’ve had five hours of sleep or less, and if you’ve had four hours or less, that risk factor skyrockets to a mind-blowing 11.5 times.
Our health may take a hit, too. Lack of sleep affects the immune system, meaning that you’re more likely to get sick and it will take you longer to recover.
The good news is that there are things we can do to help ourselves and our kids get the sleep that we need right now.
We can…..
Make sleep a priority. Treat it as a necessity, not a frill. Recognize it for what it is: the glue that holds everything else together. Yes, life is uncertain and unpredictable right now, but that doesn’t mean we should overlook the importance of sleep.
Practice good sleep hygiene. This means creating a sleep environment that is sleep-enhancing—think cool, quiet, and dark—and developing bedtime habits that encourage, rather than discourage, sleep, such as avoiding melatonin-suppressing blue light from screens, not eating too close to bedtime, limiting caffeine intake during the day, and avoiding alcohol at bedtime because it results in poorer quality, less restorative sleep. It also means maintaining consistent sleep patterns from day to day: getting out of bed at roughly the same time each morning and resisting the temptation to nap indiscriminately throughout the day—unless, of course, you’re the parent of a brand new baby, in which case indiscriminate napping is definitely encouraged.
Help your body to feel sleepy at just the right time. Be sure to get exposure to daylight first thing in the morning so that your circadian rhythms stay on track, get adequate physical activity during the day so that your body is physically tired at bedtime, minimize caffeine intake so your body is actually ready to wind down when your head hits the pillow, avoid screens in the hour or two before you go to bed (or use screen settings and apps to limit your exposure to blue light), and skip that sleep-disrupting nightcap.
In addition to taking care of these basics, there are a few additional tricks you can try if you find yourself struggling to get or stay asleep.
First, take a hot bath an hour or two before you want to head to bed. Taking a hot bath causes your blood vessels to dilate, causing heat to be radiated away from your body core. This, in turn, causes your core body temperature to drop, cueing sensations of sleepiness.
Second, dump your worries. Writing a detailed to-do list before you head off to bed isn’t just an effective way to clear your brain of worries at bedtime; it’s also a proven way to help yourself fall asleep more quickly, according to research conducted at Baylor University. So, get those worries out of your head—and out of your bed—and onto a piece of paper.
Third, choose bedtime reading that will leave you feeling less anxious, not more anxious, once your head hits the pillow. Think soothing bedtime stories, not the breaking news headlines. And if your mind is still racing, experiment with techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, positive visualization, and listening to sleep stories and/or relaxing music to gently guide your restless brain in the direction of sleep.
Finally, try not to fixate on all the sleep you’re not getting. If you wake up at three in the morning and you’re having a hard time getting back to sleep, try to resist the temptation to mentally calculate the number of hours remaining until you have to drag yourself out of bed and to start obsessing about that. Replace what sleep scientists refer to as negative sleep thoughts—“I can’t believe I’m still awake! I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow!”—with more positive sleep thoughts—“I may not be able to get back to sleep right away, but I can lie here and rest and think calming thoughts, even if I’m not fully asleep.” You’ll find it easier to do this if you remind yourself that there are things you can do to boost your energy and improve your ability to cope even if you don’t manage to get as much sleep as you’d like. Eating a protein-rich breakfast will help you feel more alert. The quick energy blast from a bowl of carbs might be tempting, but it won’t deliver the energy staying power that protein can provide. Fitting in some light to moderate physical activity will not only give you energy during the day, it will also contribute to better sleep the next night. It’s a total win-win.
Ann Douglas is the author of numerous books about pregnancy and parenting including, most recently, Happy Parents, Happy Kids and Parenting Through the Storm. She is also the weekend parenting columnist for CBC Radio.